misconceptions
i think sometimes people can get the wrong idea if they don't know you in real life and just know me from here. so i thought i would take a few moments to clear a few things up.
not only do i like to talk about the present but i also like to talk about my past. because i choose to talk about the past, it does not mean i am dwelling in the past or dwelling on certain individuals from the past. also if i choose to talk about the past it is not for anyone in particular to read or to see it, it is only for me so i can remember. the past is just that, the past. i hope that clears that all up.
why am i single? i am single because i choose to be. i have never been the type of individual that had to be with someone, to be someone. these past two years are the first years i have really ever been single and lived alone. i have to say i am very happy and content. i have fallen in love three times in my life and have been in three relationships. i am very grateful for all three experiences even though none were 'forever'. if i choose to vent here about those relationships that's my business, but don't misconstrue the fact that although i am not in love with any of them anymore, i do love and care about all three of them. i can't say it will ever happen again, if it does it will. it's something that can't be forced or searched out. i have met some really nice men these past two years but there just were no sparks in any of them. i hope that clears that up.
last but not not least, the most irritating question i'am asked now and then. no, i don't read his website. i have not read a word or viewed a page of it since july of 2001. that would make it what, almost a year now? i will never, ever read it again so stop asking me if i do. and no, i am not interested in what he writes so don't fucking tell me.
now, back to business hehe
Comments
i think relationships are so much work at times, i have to question whether it's worth it in the end?
it took a good year to get over my last relationship. one year of my life, and i can say it was not too pretty at times. i recall standing on santa monica blvd in west hollywood outside of a bar with a friend. i broke out into these heaving sobs and my friend had to about carry me back to his apt, where i continued to cry for hours. ( that public emotional breakdown was nothing short of embarassing )not to mention it took months before i was even able to sleep in 'our' bed alone. the couch and i became quite good friends that year.
i am sure again one day i will get involved with someone, but right now i love being single. not sure i have ever been happier in life.
Posted by: dave | July 23, 2002 08:13 AM
Just be yourself and ejoy yourself, man. No one should expect different.
Posted by: cj69collins | July 22, 2002 05:02 PM
Preach on, Dave! Talk about what you want to talk about, man, and fuck the world if they don't like it. *manly, militaristic grunt of approval followed by a girlish giggle*
Posted by: krista. :) | July 22, 2002 03:54 PM
Hello dave. Long time listener, first time caller. OK, it's not my first time. Anywho... I'm right with you on the single thing. I believe myself to be happy with being single. Don't really have the desire to be with anyone in particular. I've loved and been loved. Unfortunately, never the both have met. Do I want to love? I don't think so. Oh sometimes I get real lonely and decide I do, but then I visit friends who are in relationships... both straight and gay... and realize that this is SO not for me. I'm too independant. I'm too selfish. Relationships mean compromise and responsibility. I don't care to do anymore of either than I already am.
Posted by: Ben | July 22, 2002 03:49 PM
Love YA.. HUGS HUGS HUGS
Vince
Posted by: rdhdwolf | July 22, 2002 02:50 PM