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mistake erase

where am i going with this?

i removed a post the other day. the 2nd time here i have ever done that. it felt too angry.

i am angry though and so very sad. i have to be honest, i like others, have shed so many tears.

there are moments in life one will never forget:

"I remember when my mother was chain smoking and bawling."

like mother like son. do you remember that day? i do. so very well.

"i did not understand why my mother was so upset. crying. smoking."

she had the television on. i was almost 5 years old. hearing my mothers screams. because of that box. the sobbing.

"i could not get her attention for days. so i had a plan."

i stole one of her bobby-pins. my secret weapon of destruction. in my shorts and well hidden.

"if you ever, ever stick something into a socket i am going to spank you."

i got spanked very hard for putting that bobby-pin into the socket. i got my mothers attention. in hind sight, i think i brought her out of her coma at that time.

she was upset over the brutal assassination of a president.

*

i understand my mothers anger and the tears. they would continue through out the years, over tragic events. so do mine.

like mother, like son.

**

born into dramatics, that be me. what can i say. you know? can't hide the truth now can we. as i face monday morning and the truth about it all.

i know too many damn people. too many want to just talk or hangout. i hope i have been an angel to you. you have been one to me.

***

is this like a yearly thing or what? damn phone keeps going off but i can't answer it. guess i have to get a new cell phone. again. maybe i can do without a phone?

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